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Athlete to Anorexic – Now making peace with God I’ve been asked to give a talk to you young ladies this afternoon based on morality; living what we have been taught by our parents, our churches, and our faith to live. I’m not going to stand up here as an adult and tell you to do things the way I say because I say so. You have people doing that already. I intend to present to you just a handful of reasons behind why our parents and elders say so. How many across this auditorium today, would consider yourself moral, practicing, faith-filled Christians? That’s a good show of hands, but let me tell you something; if we do things the way society does things, then chances are we are not practicing, nor moral and “faith-filled.” I will let you wrestle with that yourself. All too many times, we go out with our boyfriends and we say, “You know, I love him. I r e a l l y love him.” And, “No, Mom, we didn’t do anything.” And then we go tell our friends, “Well, we didn’t go all the way.” Yes you did! If you had occasion, because of activities going on between you and your boyfriend, to tell someone, “we didn’t go all the way”, you have already gone too far! I was raised in a very overly strict household. My dad was a police officer and my mom was a schoolteacher, and we were in church just about every time the door opened. That did not protect me anymore than it will protect you. You must develop your own conscience. You must know what is right and wrong and why it is right and wrong. We know that we have been created by God to know Him, to love Him, to serve Him, to be one with Jesus as Jesus is one with the Father. Now He has given us a very good set of rules to follow, and the very good examples of those that have lived these rules before us. Unless, and until, I am married, then I belong – body, soul, and spirit to God alone. No one has the right to touch my body in any kind of a sexually stimulating manner. God will protect you only in so far as you will do what He asks you to do. I have not always lived a moral life. I fell in love with this boy when I was in high school – puppy love. My family wanted me to marry him, and eventually we did. We spent very much time together unchaperoned and unguarded. By the time I got married, (which we did), I was pregnant. Don’t tell me, “Well, that’s not going to happen to me, you can’t get pregnant the first time,” I did! The first time we “went all the way” I got pregnant. But that couldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been letting him play and fondle – if I hadn’t enjoyed it and encouraged it. The ways we dress, the way we carry ourselves affect the person we become; how permissive we are. Society will call you prudish, nun-ish, and all kinds of other words. God will call you faithful. Which one are we most interested in: society’s perception of us, or God’s perception of us? There are a lot of women out there, and young women as well, (and I count all of you as young women) that believe that they are forced into doing certain things. “Well, if I don’t let my boyfriend do this, do that, or do the other, then he’ll drop me”. Praised be Jesus Christ! Let him drop you! For he does not care about you if he is pushing you to perform. Because of my lifestyle as a teenager and young adult, I found it not quite so appalling when I got a divorce and had two small children to take care of, to go to work employing the only true skill I had. I went to work as an exotic dancer, became an “escort,” which is a fancy, legal, term for prostitute. I met a lot of different men in that line of work. When I did decide to get out of that line of work, and get a real job, you know, one you can actually pay taxes on, I continued to bump into some of the people I had met during that line of work. Several years later, I bumped into one and he wanted me to perform the same services that I did as an escort and I told him, “No, I don’t do that anymore. I’m better than that.” Well he took that to mean that I was better than he, and three weeks later, he raped me. He would never have known of my existence, where I lived, or how to get me to open a door if I had not been involved in dancing and prostitution. Because of the promiscuity that I lived, and the lifestyle that I embraced, I had a difficult time forming any kind of a long-term relationship. I have been married and divorced or separated 4 times. Another man that I met while working as a stripper, I did eventually marry. It seemed that I had settled down, but he had not. He kept continuing with his lifestyle. Now you may say that doesn’t affect you, or didn’t affect me, but when he brought home chlamydia (chlamydia is a sexually transmitted disease that used to be called the “shepherds disease”), he gave me chlamydia. I thought I had a bad yeast infection, tried to treat it over the counter. Chlamydia became Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. PID, left untreated became cervical cancer.  There are consequences for our actions. Whether anyone else knows what we’re doing, what we’ve done, what we’re thinking of or not, God knows, and we know. And God is a God of mercy and love, but He is also a God of justice. In His mercy, He allows things to happen to us that we perceive to be bad: lupus-terminal, cancer, injury, and sickness, in order to bring us to repentance. This is an ecumenical gathering here today, for the Catholics in the audience, I’m going to ask you to envision yourself directly in front of the Tabernacle in your Church. For our Protestants, I am going to ask you to envision yourselves between the front row of your church and the podium or altar. Would any of you think of making out with your boyfriend there? I see the look of horror and shock on many of your faces. That would be a sacrilege, wouldn’t it? It’s just something you don’t do. You don’t behave like that in Church. Why not? Because it’s the house of God. Sweethearts, SO ARE YOU!!! Anything that you would not want to do with your boyfriend in the sanctuary, you should not do with him anywhere. That’s a terrible picture isn’t it? I’ll give you one worse, Jesus asks us to choose between Him and our boyfriend – oftentimes. Our boyfriend’s pushing us to do this, that, or the other. He wants to kiss us, he wants to cuddle with us; you know how it goes: just a little touch here or there, you know “we’re not going to go all the way, but let me put my arm around your waist” and his hand slips down into your back pocket. For any of you that say, “well, if it goes to my back pocket, I’ll slap him,” hold on — you should have slapped yourself when you let him put his arm around your waist. You have no business being groped. You are not fresh produce or fresh meat to be poked, prodded, and squeezed. You are a human being, as such, you have an immortal soul and you are responsible to God for what you do, what you even entertain in your mind (and depending on how you look at it, what you allow to entertain you). We are not property, or as I said before, fresh produce, to be squeezed. The same kind of man that is the squeezer and pressurer on dates, becomes an abuser ten years into the marriage – or less, many times – it’s not all of the time – but many times. Is this the kind of life you want? You ladies range from 14-18, basically. Do you want, in eight years (the average time it takes to recognize the gravity of what was done) to be waking up from a sound sleep, on those days that you can go to sleep, crying or screaming, because of a child that is being murdered in front of your eyes? You can’t seem to shake it – and you can’t get rid of the guilt, because what was a simple thing when a doctor, or a mother, or an aunt, said, “Oh, we can take care of that,” is now devastating. Whether still on the (abortion) procedure table or it is 20 years later that you come to understand your child was murdered inside of your own body, you will begin to understand your portion in it. You have to face that if you keep your skirts down, and he keeps his fly up you won't get pregnant. If you can’t do that, you don’t need to be together – you are NOT mature enough to have a relationship, to raise a child as God ordained – marry and then have babies (Note: relationships usually end). Unfortunately some people NEVER reach sufficient maturity to have a relationship. Be mature and marry someone who is truly mature if you want a lasting relationship. I am terminally ill today, survived cancer a couple of times, as well as various “STD”s and abuse by husbands because of the lifestyle I chose to live. It’s NOT TV glamour. Society, in case you haven’t noticed – and I’m sure you have – is not moral. I want each of you to stop and look at what you are wearing right now. You’ve come to an assembly that’s going to give you credit for health or religion. Should you get to receive the extra credit from this for wearing what you now have on? Would you wear to church what you are wearing right now? I see you shaking your head – then Miss, you shouldn’t be wearing it now! I guess the greatest compliment I’ve ever gotten was from my brother, who was visiting from Atlanta, and he asked me, “Joan, are you going to Church this morning”, and I said, “No, I’m not. We don’t have Church this morning available.” He said, “I never know with you. You always look like you’re just going to or coming from Church.” Thank you! Because that means that I am dressing and living my life with the knowledge that Jesus Christ is present with me 24/7. If you wouldn’t say it in Church, you shouldn’t say it anywhere. If you wouldn’t wear it in Church, you shouldn’t wear it outside of your bedroom. When you wake up in the morning, you should be dressing yourself modestly. You should be greeting God and thanking Him for the day He has given you. Dress modestly before you go out of your room. The end of the day, when you pray for the last time that night, you should dress yourself modestly, again, for bed. What is Modest? Most of us would, in reality, define modest as, “the style that I like and think I can get away with wearing.” Ladies, look at your hemlines. If you sit down, does it come above your knee – does it invite gazing up your skirt? For the older ones, what about when you’re driving? These are things to think about. If they’re inviting the look, the gaze, the gawk, you have just become a temptress – and will share responsibility for the man’s sin. And be careful – for that sin may actually not be in his mind alone, but may be played out – welcome to the world of the rape survivor, if you’re blessed. If not, welcome to judgment day – your rapist just murdered you! Your shirt should not be slit to your hip and blouses plunged to your bust line. You need to have yourself covered. Think of it this way: If you dress modestly and cover yourself, then the man you do decide to marry can enjoy unwrapping you – his wife. Then you won’t be re-furbished. Maintain the purity of body; develop the purity of spirit to go with it. One gives credence to and controls the other. I have walked the road. I have slept with men to pay the bills; I also did it because it was fun. Condoms, diaphragms, barrier devices, do not stop sexually transmitted disease. I don’t care what they say. Condoms rupture all too easily. Then you always have the “nice” lambskin ones. Guys, for some reason seem to think that since they cost more, they must be better. They are made out of natural membrane. Do you realize that AIDS crosses natural membranes? That’s how it gets into your blood – it crosses a membrane. They’re not real good at preventing pregnancy, they’re not good at preventing STDs, so really, they don’t work. Let’s look at other things like pills, IUDs, patches, and birth control shots. All of which can be abortive. You older ladies in here who are getting “the pill” from the Health Department, please realize that you are basically willing to induce an abortion every month. It may stop you from getting pregnant; but when it doesn't it causes an abortion just like the emergency contraceptive shot (or pill) known as the morning after shot (or pill). I encourage you who are thinking about being sexually active and what you can do to escape the consequences of your actions to go to – trosch.org/in-leu-o.htm#abortion. There are also a few things on modesty in dress trosch.org/chu/headdres.htm that you might get a kick out of, and an awful lot that will probably make you mad. There are things in there on abortion; what it does and a lot of documentation, I guess, written by people like myself who have had abortions, denied the effects that it had on them, and then have had to come to grips with it later – trosch.org/pas/pas.html. You’d be surprised how many people who die of anorexia are post-abortive females. Many also commit suicide as did a co-author of the book linked above, "Post Abortion Syndrome - Stories of Family Destruction." Such suicides are rarely linked as a consequence of having had an abortion. Some post abortive women develop a hatred of males and become lesbians; Others go through many marriages and divorces. For the last 30 years, or better, society has been telling us “anything goes.” But I’m going to tell you the same thing I’ve told my son – he’s 19 now but I’ve been telling him this since he was about 2 years old: “You can do anything you want to do – if you are prepared to accept the consequences of your actions!” If you would like to come up here and slap me – that’s fine – you can do that – you have that ability. Please understand that there are consequences to be paid. I’m either going to deck you, or I will have you arrested for battery. If you are prepared for that, then be my guest. There is nothing physically possible to you that you can not do if you are willing to accept the responsibility (consequences) of you actions. I’m not going to tell you that you can not go out and have sex with your boyfriend. I am going to tell you that if you do that, he will lose respect for you, and you will lose respect for him. You may get pregnant in which case you now have a choice: am I going to ruin the rest of my life by having to drop out of school and raise an infant? You know, I’ve heard a lot of women say, “One moment of weakness, and it’s ruined my life. I now have this child for the next 20 years.” OK Or again, are you going to ruin your life by having an abortion? For anyone who says, "I’ll give it up for adoption," you will find that it is easier said than done. You may be able to carry a child for 9 months, and give him up for adoption, but it doesn’t happen as often as it should. It takes a strong women to give up her child because that is what may be best for the child. A lot of girls say, “I won’t have an abortion, I’ll give ‘it’ up for adoption if I get pregnant”, or worse yet, “Mama will help me raise the baby.” I’m here to tell you, I have a 19 year old son, may God have mercy on him should he come home and tell me, “my girlfriend is pregnant and we want to move in with you so you can take care of our baby.” If you are old enough to get pregnant, you are old enough to take care of your own child. In this day and age, how many of you think daddy’s really going to hang around, marry you and raise the baby? You’ll be lucky if you can get forced child support! So I guess it’s best if you don’t go there. I said before, if you keep your skirts down and pants up, everything will be fine. But what about as far as God is concerned – and your relationship to Him – and to one another? He tells us to be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect – I ain’t there! But He does also tell us the things that we should be following in order to get there. He tells us to love each other as He loves us and gave His life for us. That does not mean that we are to allow our boyfriends to have their way. What it means is that when he wants to put his arm around you, and you are uncomfortable with that, you move his arm and you tell him, “no. I love you enough not to drag you into sin. I love you enough not to be complicit in the sin. Maybe it’s that I love God enough, that I do not want to offend Him.” Either way you go, do you love yourself enough to want to be the person God created you to be? This is where it gets prudish. Sitting at the local Waffle House, sharing a cup of coffee with the same guy a couple or 3 hours at a time, 2-3 times a week can get you into trouble. I know. I did it! I married him - now we’re divorced. We must live constantly what we claim to believe. Yes, we will fall and have failings, we will sin, but that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. We don’t have to wind up bitter, when you can prevent it now. Don’t let yourself be treated like property, to become someone’s goods. You have a brain and God expects you to use it. You have a free will – you’re a free agent – you’re responsible for what you do with that, but you ARE a free agent. Being a puppet does not give you an out. At the end of WWII we killed war criminals that were “only following orders.” “Well, Billy talked me into it;" "Mary Beth said she was doing it;” if everybody else in this room went and jumped off a bridge, would you follow? We must live what we know to be right. I challenge you, as you may never have been challenged before. I do not expect you to say, “Well Mama said,” or “Father So and So said,” or "Brother Clarence said, therefore…” I don’t expect that. That would be ludicrous! And I challenge you not to ever take any mortal person totally at their word simply because they are an authority. That means that you should not believe everything that comes out of their mouths. You do of course owe them the respect accorded to their authority. If you disagree with them, you may respectfully challenge them. I challenge you to discover the truth, whatever that truth may be. Truth is truth. There is no difference in truth for me and truth for you. Truth is not something that is subjective – God is Truth, therefore Truth is objective. My challenge to you today would be to find that truth. Remember that the same God that created you and me, knows us better than any other being, and loves us the most. Because He loves us, He WILL teach us if we give Him the opportunity. He will offer us wisdom, He will grant us understanding, but, He will also require obedience to the truth as it has been given to us. We are also required to seek the author of all truth. Don’t make all the plans for the rest of your life hinge on the indiscretions of your teenage years, or as a young adult. Present your bodies as a living sacrifice to God. If you know He would not approve, then don’t do it. If you have questions as to whether or not He would approve, ask me – go to someone you trust – etc. Look up “moral dress” on the internet. I defy you to go to “Moral dress code,” and see what you come up with, or even, “modest dress.” I’m not saying to wear the styles of the 1800’s, but what was modest in 1850 was modest in 1950 and will be modest in 2050. What was considered immodest in 1850 is considered old fashioned in 2004. I once heard it said that modesty in dress was simply the practice of concealing rather than revealing. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. I know that my faith is reflected in my dress. I know what it’s like to rebel against everything you’ve ever been taught since you were an infant. I know what it’s like to question everything – “I don’t believe any of it!” dump the whole thing out and start over. My sex life cost me my “faith.” I’ll say it again: my sex life cost me my faith. “God loves me, He’ll forgive me therefore….” You know how it goes, “if I work in a topless bar, He understands, I’ve got to be able to feed my children.” “Lord, I wouldn’t mind following you and doing the moral thing, but my children are hungry and I may trust you to take care of me, but I don’t trust you to take care of them.” It’s easy to deceive yourself into thinking that, “I am only doing what I have to do in order to feed my babies.” Sex is good, but is reserved for husband and wife. Don’t even think about it until you’re married. And if you don’t get married, guess what, you don’t have sex. Don’t allow yourself to be in intimate situations. Most hand holding gets you into trouble. It starts with a hold, and then one of you has the hand on the other’s knee, and it gets out of control from there. Many of you will rebel against authority. I am not telling you that you won’t. But there are many ways to rebel. When you decide to rebel sexually, when you decide to rebel morally, when you dare to accept vice as virtue, then you are not rebelling against your Mom, your Dad, your teachers; you are rebelling against God. Think about that. If you have specific questions that you would like answered personally, if you would like to have further contact with me, you can get me at joan@trosch.org. I’ll talk to you anytime. I am pretty regular about checking my email. Embracing the truth presented to you today will be difficult. If you decide to live a moral and modest life, you will be laughed at, ridiculed, and picked on by the “popular” girls in school, and maybe even by people in your own families and churches. If you want to please God and do what is right because you know it to be right, then you must also be prepared for those who do not have this same desire, to ridicule you. Pick your battles carefully. Follow what you know to be truth and keep looking for the truth. God will reward that in your lives. We will be taking a break and then coming back for Q&A, if there is something you would like to ask personally, I will be out at the soda machines. Thank you for your time, and May God bless you. Joan is available for giving talks to Junior High school and High school girls at schools or in church facilities. She can be contacted at: joan@trosch.org. She lives in the upper part of Florida — Expenses plus stipend or freewill offering. http://www.trosch.org/lif/lt-breast_cancer_cause.html Post Abortion Syndrome - Stories Priests: Abortions and Confessions Abortion Suicide Link Claim Release Disposal Authority Medical History
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