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WOMEN'S CHOICE! IS IT?

        I want to talk to you today on a subject that is not a pretty one, but a subject that we can not afford to ignore, abortion. It is the most divisive subject of our time. This is a subject that is very hard for me to talk about, but I must speak out if I am to educate even one person regarding this evil and how it is destroying families in our community.

        Our women are being deceived. We're being fed Woman's Choice, it's being shoved down our throats so fast and so far that it is killing us.

        We have women standing up and shouting "women's rights", "pro-choice" and we have been falling for it hook, line and sinker. That's how we are getting received so easily, because there are women in the front of the lies leading these groups, and we think because they are "one of us" that they must really be concerned about our welfare. Well please don't be deceived; these kind of women are dangerous to the welfare of women, children and society. They don't care about women's rights, all they care about is making a name for themselves through exploiting women and children. They feed on hurting women, that is their target to make them look good, when the fact is that they are the one's that are causing so much hurt and anguish to our women.

        We are constantly being told that it's a woman's body and that only she has the right to decide whether to bare children or not. What they are telling us is that the woman should have the only decision about whether her baby, which is an individual human being growing inside her body, should live or die. What they are not telling us is that when that baby is dead, and the mother realizes that her baby is dead, and she begins to be tormented day and night with guilt and grief because she cannot hold her baby because that decision is irreversible, (abortion is permanent) that she is then on her own because nobody cares what happens to her after she has made that choice. All anyone seems to care about is that she did have the "right to choose," after that "honey, you are on your own. It's not their concern anymore. They accomplished what they had set out to do, give you a "free choice" at the expense of your baby's life, your sanity and at the expense of everyone around you (a woman suffering from Post-Abortion Syndrome, PAS, can be very destructive to herself and everyone around her).

        They accomplished what they set out to do which was and is making their name and face well known. They are in it for the power and the money.

        The Bible tells us that the love of money is the root of all evil, the lust for money, the craving for power, the overwhelming need to control, that's what these people are all about.

        When I was 19, I had an abortion. There was no one there to try to talk me out of it. There was no one to discuss alternatives. There was no one there to pick me up when it was all over and life began to crumble. The fact is, it wasn't over, for the pain had just begun.

        Abortion was supposed to solve my problems. It didn't. It only created new ones. Abortion was supposed to terminate my pregnancy, not kill my baby.

        Now I know what terminate means, to put an end to, but during a crisis situation somehow terminate and kill just don't seem to add up to the same thing, abortion.

        That's why it is so important for us as parents to be educated to the fullest as to what abortion is and what happens to the family following an abortion. Young people, you need to be educated and you need to be understanding next time someone in your school is faced with and unexpected pregnancy. You just might be able to save a baby from destruction.

        Maybe if it didn't seem that everyone had turned against this young girl because "she got herself pregnant", maybe if just one person would say, "It's OK., I still love you," or "You can take this mistake and make something good of it by giving your baby life and let someone who can't have a child take her or him to love and to raise," maybe then she would not think that abortion is the only answer.

        Young people, if you know someone in your school who's had an abortion, befriend them, love them, at least exchange a warm smile or a greeting from time to time. She is hurting. She is dying inside. She is headed down a road of self-destruction and unless someone reaches out to her through the love of Jesus Christ, she will die. She already hates herself and if everyone keeps whispering and staring, the hate and the self-destruction will continue to grow and fester until she explodes.

        I had to go across the state line, abortion was not yet legal in Alabama. I was never counseled with. I was not given other options or alternatives. Adoption was never mentioned. I was told that it was only tissue and that it would take about ten minutes and that I would only feel a small amount of pain, if any. It was not tissue, it was a baby, two of them. I had twins, one girl, one boy. It took about thirty minutes and the pain was unbearable. My babies died a horrible death.

        Upon arriving at the clinic they gave me a tranquilizer to calm me down and relax me. Before the abortion began, as I was laying on the table, the tranquilizer had taken effect and it seemed that there was no longer a crisis situation, and I was calm. The excitement of all that was happening, the anxiety and fear were gone. I was no longer afraid to deal with the pregnancy and I told them that I changed my mind and wanted to keep my baby.

        The nurse told me th at it was just the medication talking and that I really didn't want to change my mind. I kept telling them that I changed my mind and nobody would listen to me. The pain was horrible and they held my arms down so I couldn't hit anyone. That day they took away my CHOICE.

        After it was over and I was in recovery, I kept crying and the nurses were so cruel to me. They kept telling me I was acting like a baby and that I was upsetting everyone around me.

        From that time on I put up a wall that no one would ever be able to get past. I blocked the abortion from my mind as if it had never happened.

        Within a year of the abortion I gave birth to a baby boy. I didn't know what I was going to do with him or how I was going to care for him with my marriage getting worse each day and two small children, ages four and five, but I knew I had to try.

        As the years went by I grew farther from my two girls and I overprotected my son. I began to drink heavily and to take drugs. I began to have nightmares while sleeping, and while awake I would hear babies crying and there would be no baby there. I would walk through a grocery store and would not go down an isle that had a baby in it. Sometimes if there were a lot of babies that day or if a baby cried I would become hysterical and begin crying and become angry. I was afraid of beautiful little babies, but at the same time I was drawn to them.

        The alcohol and the drugs became more frequent as did the nightmares. I became less of a mother. I had so much hate inside of me for myself and for everyone around. I didn't think that anyone could love me and thought that everyone was my enemy, then one day Jesus Christ changed my life.

        It took ten years for the healing to begin. It's been two years and I have come a long way, but it takes time for the years of undealt with emotions to heal. Ten years of garbage being fed into my body, mind and spirit.

        I've spent the past two years dealing with my emotions, my fears, grieving over the death of my two children, learning how to be a mother to my three children at home and learning to love others, but most important, learning how to forgive myself for what I had done.

        The way I came to PAIRS is a very important part of my testimony. The PAIRS office had relocated to the Harvest Church building, which is where I attended church at that time. I was a brand new Christian. I was so happy and full of life; that is until "those people" moved into our building. I was so angry because they were there. I could not stand the thoughts of anyone coming into my church, my sanctuary and talking about abortion. I hated that word.

        Since I had been saved 5 months earlier I had not had a single nightmare. Now all of a sudden they were back again. I was having flashbacks of a day 10 years before. I couldn't cope with what was happening to me. I wasn't ready to face reality. I began eating to suppress the emotions that were surfacing, and from that I developed an eating disorder called Bulimia. In only a few short weeks I went from 115 pounds to 150 pounds. I had no control over my life anymore.

        A week before Thanksgiving Day in 1987 I confided in a friend at church, about my eating problems and my nightmares (but not about the abortion) and asked her to please pray for me and she did. She prayed such a beautiful prayer and asked God to reveal to me the source behind my illness and my dreams. That night as I was leaving the church God spoke to me in an almost audible voice and told me to go to the PAIRS office. I knew that I had to obey God if I wanted to get past this thing.

        The following day I was very nervous as I saw the kids off to school and got in my car and headed to the PAIRS office. When I arrived at the Church I decided that I would first go into the sanctuary and pray. Deep down inside I knew that once I got into that sanctuary, that would be as far as I would go, because I really didn't want to go to that office.

        When I walked into the foyer of the church and headed toward the sanctuary, I couldn't believe my eyes. There was a sign hung over the big double doors that said, "Sanctuary Closed Until Sunday Services." Well, I decided to use the side door so I could say that I didn't see the sign, but when I got around there, there was another sign with the same statement. Well, I don't give up easily and neither does God. There was still one more door. A door that no one hardly ever uses. I couldn't believe it...another sign, same message. Why was God doing this to me!?

        By this time I was almost in a run as I made my way through the back of the church to the PAIRS office. When I got there I just froze. I reached for the door but I couldn't open it. Just then the door opened and there stood Eleanor Ramsey with the love of Jesus all over her face. She said, "May I help you?" I just fell in her arms and began to cry uncontrollably for what must have been an hour or more. She just held me in her arms and said, "It's OK, I love you and Jesus loves you right where you are." That day was the beginning of a "new life" for me and my family. That day my healing began.

        The reason I have gone into such detail of how I came to PAIRS and how my healing began is that it is important for you to know just how important I am to God. He loves me no matter what. Jesus died for "ME", I was a nobody and Jesus picked me up, put the pieces together and transformed me into a beautiful butterfly.

        There are other Robins out there who are hurting and if only someone would take her in their arms, just like Eleanor did with me, and hold her and tell her that it's OK, and that you love her no matter what and that Jesus loves her, then she too can become a beautiful butterfly and receive the healing of her heart and soul.

        I don't care who you are. You have not sinned more than what God can forgive. You are somebody in Christ Jesus. God makes no mistakes.

        UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, THE LOVE OF CHRIST IS THE ONLY ANSWER, IF THIS GENERATION IS TO SURVIVE, TO COME OUT OF THE PIT IT IS IN, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

WEB MANAGER'S NOTE: Christ's love is not unconditional. To benefit from His sacrificial offering one must be open to the word of God, the person Jesus, who presents the truths required for salvation. The learned truths must be put into practice according to the ability possessed and when the opportunities are available.

        The love of Truth and one's sincerity in faith -- having a real desire for eternal life manifested by meritorious activities -- is necessary for salvation.

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