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Financial Assistance requested
My MOM HadI am 40 years old and most of my life I wondered why my mother did not love me, now after all these years I know. I have just finished reading, "Post Abortion Syndrome - Stories of Family Destruction." See, my Mom had which did mess up my family. My mother would drink most of the time because she could not deal with what she had done. She was married to a very good man but could not deal with life with him because he would not drink. She would go into fits of rage where none of us could do anything right. She would beat me severely. I remember one night when she came home and I was on a top bunk asleep and she pulled me out of bed because the kitchen was not done her way. I heard her say, "I should never have kept you - " I never thought about it until I read this book. As a child I always wondered what it would be like to be loved -- I would pray for my mom to love me. Now I know that since she could not deal with what she had done, having the abortions, she did not love herself and she could not love anyone else. I missed out on a lot of my childhood because of my mom but mostly I missed out on knowing what it was like to be a good mom myself. I almost lost all six of my children due to things I did not know about, but thanks to a woman who has become my mentor while teaching me how to mother my kids, I now have them all back together again. It is not easy and we have a long way to go but I am no longer afraid of the future. Years ago when I was working for a family --baby sitting two children-- I found out I was going to have a baby. I was told I could keep my job if I had an abortion. I knew deep down that I wanted this child no matter what, so I had my child. 19 years ago I made the right choice. I have had enough hurt in my life with the choice's my mother made and I won't put my children through the same thing. My mother was married three times with her last husband murdering her in a drunken brawl eleven years ago. I had forgiven my mom because I knew she had problems. I just now am understanding she had no life because she had no peace. She could not forget what she did no matter how much she drank, she never forgave herself. But only through Jesus could she have found peace. Now that I understand how deep her hurt was I love her more than ever before. I would give anything if I could have her back, if only for a few minutes to put my arms around her, and tell her how much I miss her. Melodie Frazier Her Daughter's Comments January 8, 1998 Post Abortion Syndrome   Editor
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