Financial Assistance requested    

The names Hillary and Janet are fictitious as I do not desire to
bring further pain to them, their children, or grandchildren.

        Preface to a letter I wrote in June 1998 (Revised September 2002), to one of our PAS (Post Abortion Syndrome) clients, whom I met while working at PAIRS (Post Abortion Information and Recovery Service). Hillary worked with us in various volunteer activities for several years, and we became friends. Hillary was a faithful church attender and learned, as many others have, to "sing and dance in the spirit," and to put a happy face forward. She learned the art of denial very well. She like so many others made every effort, to appear to the world as completely happy and fulfilled, while all the time carrying a huge load of guilt on the inside. She knew all the answers to the questions she heard regarding Faith in God. She played the role of "Christian" very well.

        Hillary had been traveling all over the country, always keeping in touch, sending back post cards and letters from various interesting places. This lady was special to me as she has suffered much in her life time and was never too busy to help another woman in need. Hillary had tried marriage twice; Both men loved to frequent barrooms, were drug abusers, and became physically abusive to her. She was abused as a child. After her abortion she became drug and alcohol dependant. Much later she joined AA and earned her five year pin; and as far as I know is still drug and alcohol free.

        One day in June of 1998, Hillary came to visit and brought her new roommate, Janet, with her. We visited for awhile and Hillary took me aside and confided in me that they were lovers. Janet was providing her with stability, affection and financial support. She felt completely at ease with having a female lover. Hillary had developed a serious illness and could no longer work. Too bad that the church she attended for years never mentioned the sin of Sodomy, or even what that word meant.

        I was shocked as Hillary knew I would be, So, I just took it all in and said nothing negative to her at that point. She also knew Carol who had co-authored the PAS book with me and they became friends. Hillary had attended Carol's funeral with me (she succeeded in committing "Post Abortion Suicide" after many attempts); How sad that was.

        The next day, I was scheduled to take a long trip, and would not return until after these two women returned to their home town. Sleep did not come easy that night, the nightmare I had was terrible, so I got up and wrote Hillary the following letter.

Dear Hillary,

        It's very early, still dark outside. The dream I had last night was the heaviest of many, many years. Carol was there along with you.

        Carol most likely is not in a safe place, although as humans we want to believe she is. She had turned away from the One True God.

        On her last wee hours call to me before her death she told me of her belief in re-incarnation. Only if she had repented in the short time before she bled to death could she have rescued her soul from damnation. She had tried to climb up from the creek bank (there was dirt under her fingernails) where she finally died. Had she changed her mind and repented before she died? This, even though she had again been attending a local church before her suicide. She had slit her own throat and both wrists. Suicide is self-murder.

        Oh, how very much I now wish I had not just been a very tired, passive, friend who listened to her heartache; But instead a true friend who warned her of the danger of turning one's back on the One True God who loved her enough to Sacrifice His precious Son, Jesus, because of His great love for all of us. God is JUST and there is a penalty for Sin. God gave us the Bible – The Book Of Books, our instructions from God to us on how we are to live. We are without excuse. God gave each of us a free will to choose His way or our own. Our way will lead us down the path to a Godless Hell. Hell is real.

        We witnessed snakes, this past week, that had gotten into our building, and one was slithering down from the ceiling and one across the floor. That was a big reminder that Satan was alive and well on planet earth.

        Hillary, ALL sexual activity outside the marriage bond is Sin against God. The Old Testament spells it out very plainly – adults (post pubescence) guilty of sexual activity outside of marriage are to be put to death unless it is truly a case of rape in which every effort was made to escape.

        Hillary, you have witnessed the Hell and destruction that comes to whole families as a result of trying to live lives their own way... without God. Girl, the PAS book tells it all, as your story too relates. You have talked with many of these women, and you know about it first hand.

        Living a celibate (not sexually active) life as a widow is not always easy. I tried marriage and decided that another marriage would be a bad mistake for me, especially since I am still raising children. "Blended" families in this generation just do not seem to ever get really united. For those who can be chaste, abstinence is a better way of life. God is enough to satisfy every human need and desire. There is no greater Love than what God offers. He fulfills every need, if we let Him.

        Hillary, what would happen to my family if I were to give in to temptation (me first) and forget that my grandchildren see my bad examples? Would I be leading them to Hell where they would burn for all eternity? That thought has kept me out of trouble many times. What about your grandchildren?

        Every time I read or re-read the PAS book I see the caskets of beautiful young women and know that most are dead because of the consequences of misguided decisions made from choosing the easy way. This, take it easy me first generation, is a bad idea to follow. There are always serious consequences. God never promised me an easy road to travel and I have never had one. That is alright because the blessings outweigh the sorrows.

        Hillary, I do not know Janet, or what thorns have been put in her path, but there must have been many. But you do know enough about Spiritual matters to know that you are not to be a part of leading, or following, another person down the path to a burning Hell. Hell is real and spoken of vividly in Luke 16:19-31. Please read these passages.

        Being a Lesbian is dangerous- PLEASE -Stop -think, and repent, before it is eternally too late. My prayer is for you to change the course of your life and become what God created you to be. He only desires what is eternally best for you. That goes for me too.

        Hillary, You have known me for a very long time and know that I do not mean to cause you anguish; unless, that too brings you to the truth of what God wants for you and your family.

Sincerely,
Eleanor

Note: Hillary is still living with Janet as her health has worsened. But, is that as lovers, or have they decided to stop that aspect of their lives, and stay together out of pure human compassion? I do not know the answer to that question, but God does.

Please read carefully the following Scripture: Romans 1:17-32 (KJV).