Financial Assistance requested    

1. Permission to separate – except under extreme circumstances a husband or wife required permission from the Church to separate from their spouse.
2. Civil divorce – this was permitted only when there was a civil legal need due to conditions not able to be controlled under a separation agreement or decree.  This is not accepted as granting permission to date or practice adultery by entering another marriage.  A divorce is not valid in the site of God or His Church..
3. Petrine privilege – by application to the papal see a declaration of nullity could be granted if a marriage had never been consummated (no sexual intercourse ever took place).
4. Annulment – If a civil divorce has been granted and there is reason to believe that a pre existing condition existed at the time of the marriage ceremony then an annulment procedure could be processed.  This would rarely take as little as three months and would commonly take two to five years, or more.  Most of the cost of annulment procedures are usually absorbed by the diocese.  Processing would normally begin with a parish priest of one's current residence.  In unusual circumstances or if a problems exists with the parish priest one may apply directly to the marriage tribunal of the local diocese.  Annulments should be seen as difficult to obtain and it must recognize that only pre existing annullable conditions are acceptable.

The following are some of the possible reasons an annulment might
be granted if existing at the time of the marriage ceremony:

1. marriage to a close relative.
2. one of the parties did not know that the other party intended to avoid having children.  Only well established positions concerning the exclusion of children, existing prior to marriage, are considered as possible reason for the granting of an annulment.
3. the marriage was forced upon one of the parties.
4. a catholic married outside of the Church without permission of the bishop.
5. not of marriageable age or with sufficient mental capacity to marry.

Should reasons to obtain an annulment be available or otherwise made public?

        This is problematic as current Church practice is to keep annulment proceedings under the veil of secrecy.  Secrecy often creates problems of faith as the validity of an annulment is often questioned by those who are aware of a prior marriage ceremony.  In relation to public figures and the wealthy scandal often exists with the accusations of favoritism being common.  For the sake of Catholic moral and faith witness it is my belief that determining factors should be publicly available.  This would probably serve to avoid many of the frivolous marriages that take place, particularly in the United States of America with the approval of liberal bishops.

Why is it that women file for 90% of divorces in the United States?
What are the key factors relating to divorce?

1. Feminism.
2. Practice of birth control including the contraceptive mentality.  Archbishop Oscar H. Lipscomb has stated personally to me the expressed concern of Pope John Paul II concerning the contraceptive mentality involved with natural family planning, natural fertility regulation.
3. Fornication, Lewd conduct, Desire to be sexually promiscuous.
4. Consequences of procured abortion.

The following are responses to a variety of E-mail questions that have been received.

       Except as a purely civil legal measure divorce is not recognized by the Catholic Church. If you are referring to annulments then it is a question of whether a legal marriage had ever taken place. Within the Catholic Church, particularly in the USA, there is much controversy in regard to annulments.

       The key factor to keep in mind is that God hates divorce. If a particular annulment serves the purpose a legal divorce then it must be said that God hates that particular annulment.

       One must always have primary concern for God's will, not one's own personal will. God's will often calls for personal sacrifice with the question being, "Do I love God enough to make this sacrifice?"

• Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery." (His) disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." He answered, "Not all can accept (this) word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it." Matthew 19:3-12

• The Pharisees approached and asked, "Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?" They were testing him. He said to them in reply, "What did Moses command you?" They replied, "Moses permitted him to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her." But Jesus told them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother (and be joined to his wife), and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." In the house the disciples again questioned him about this. He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:2-12

• "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.' But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32

• They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery." Matthew 19:7-9

• "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18

Hello,

        I am recently engaged and planning a wedding for October. I am a Presbyterian and divorced for over three years. My soon to be husband is Catholic and would very much like to get married in a Catholic church. We have already agreed to raise our children Catholic and that if I need to convert I am willing. I attended a Catholic college for four years and am aware of the faith.
        What ramifications are there being divorced and a non- catholic? Is an October wedding logical? What step must I take? Annulment?

Thank you for your help.

        Except as a purely civil legal measure divorce is not recognized by the Catholic Church. If you are referring to annulments then it is a question of whether a legal marriage had ever taken place. Within the Catholic Church, particularly in the USA, there is much controversy in regard to annulments.
        The key factor to keep in mind is that God hates divorce. If a particular annulment serves the purpose a legal divorce then it must be said that God hates that particular annulment.
        One must always have primary concern for God's will, not one's own personal will. God's will often calls for personal sacrifice with the question being, "Do I love God enough to make this sacrifice?"

fr. david

you wrote:

        How can I get guidelines on annulments and the length of time it takes to get one from start to completion.

        Your parish priest is the best one to talk to for guidelines as each diocese often sees fit to use its own interpretation of Canon Law.
        Rarely would a decree of nullity be issued in less than 3 months and it could take a few years depending upon the cooperativeness of the parties involved and the stated reasons why it is believed that a marriage was not valid at its inception.

Sincerely in Christ,
fr. david

Dear Ellen,

Note: Both of our times are saved by my being blunt. I do not mean any offense by my directness.
        Unless you believe that the Catholic faith is the one true Church do not insult God by going through a meaningless process and becoming Catholic.
        Divorces are not recognized by the Catholic Church except for purely civil legal purposes. According to Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church one commits adultery when married to two persons at the same time.
    An annulment is only correctly given when it has been established that conditions for a moral marriage did not exist at the time of the marriage ceremony. Subsequent events have no effect on the validity of a marriage except possibly to help establish that conditions for a valid marriage did not exist.
        There are a variety of reasons for the issuance of an annulment. You should see the local parish priest for additional information in this regard. Do not falsify information and do not allow the priest or deacon to falsify or make misleading statements. A legal annulment is just that, a legal annulment. A moral annulment requires that all information be truthful and that it be granted in accordance with the will of God. Proceed on fact, not upon feelings or emotion.
        As far as being Presbyterian is concerned, a dispensation can be granted to marry a Catholic. The completion of an annulment process can take from 6 months to two years or longer. Do not make wedding plans until an annulment has been granted. The major consideration is how strong your desire is to be with God in eternal life.
        Hope I have satisfactorily answered your questions. Write again if I can be of further help.

fr. david

you wrote:

Dear Father David:
        I hope that you will have time to answer this e-mail. I have recently become engaged and am now in an awkward position. I was raised in a Catholic home and sincerely believe in God and the presence of angels, divine intervention and blessings in my life.
        Unfortunately my parents were both alcoholics and quite abusive in my childhood. In fact at my first confession my mother was passed out in the car and sent me in to confess (I was afraid to tell the nuns where she was). My parent's drinking buddy was a priest and I must say that I really was quite angry at him for a long time. My father physically abused my mother many times in front of me, once aiming a gun at her. I sat on her lap (I was probably about 5) and saved her. Life was difficult at best and I felt that the priest's continued drinking and willingness to turn away from these tragedies was shameful.
        When I left home, I rebelled. I put myself through school (music scholarship) and continued onto to graduate work. Also, therapy helped a great deal. Eventually I turned back to God and prayer. I don't consider myself a practicing Catholic...I am still working to find a religious community that feels honest and true. I am just not sure how to define my belief system at this time. I am sure that my prayers are often answered and am very grateful for this. I do pray on a daily basis.
        Now to my moral question that I am currently grappling with. When I was 20 I was married for a period of 1 year (civil ceremony). We were only together about 7 months. I did not tell my parents of this marriage because I feared they would withdraw what little financial support they were offering. I knew that I was making a mistake but seemed unable to stop (cried through the whole ceremony).
        Unfortunately, my bad choices continued, years later I married a Jewish man in Jewish ceremony (also a civil one on the same day). That marriage ended as well.
        I am now happily engaged to be married and my fiance knows all of the above. His father has asked a priest about annulments. My fiance's parents do not know of my first marriage also many of my family members (parents) do not. I truly feel that I have struggled enough and do not want to open wounds from the past. I have come to terms with my parents and have learned to forgive them. I am not sure that I should discuss their abuse with my prospective in laws. I simply long for peace.
        If we were able to obtain an annulment for my second marriage through a priest could I be married in the church without dealing with the first marriage? Is this a matter for confession? Are there any readings that might help me with these decisions?
        Please advise if you have a moment.  Thank you.

Joan (alias)

Dear Joan,
        In your case the answer is easy. The rule is that a Catholic may not marry apart from the Church. If I understand correctly you were baptized a Catholic. If this is true, and you did not have the permission of the Church to marry in civil ceremonies, then you are required to go through simple annulment proceedings for both civil marriages. No investigation into your family background or situations should be required in so far as the annulments are concerned.
        You will need to visit with your parish priest, fill out some papers and furnish your baptismal, marriage, and divorce certificates or papers as the case may be. There may be a few related questions that will need to be asked and answered. I do not foresee that your family will need to be involved or necessarily even know that either or both civil ceremonies took place. If you have not already done so you will need to make a good confession of your sins with the sincere desire to avoid offending the Lord any more. Your parish priest should require both you and your fiancee (hopefully he is Catholic) to attend marriage preparation classes. In view of your dysfunctional background you should ask for diocesan spiritual evaluation to establish that you are properly able to commit to a permanent marriage bond.
        Unless you are an active practicing Catholic, none of the above has any real meaning beyond legal considerations. A proper priest should not want to perform a ceremony that served only legalistic purposes.
        What your concept of a faith community is you did not explain. In any case unless a parish is openly opposing Catholic teachings you should not be excessively concerned with what are truly only social considerations. The purpose of Church is to expose you to true teachings, give you graces that can be received only through the sacraments received in faith (confirmed in active works), and the giving of worship and praise to God for having given you the opportunity to share with Him in eternal life.
        Do not rely upon feelings as they can be very misleading. If your intended is a practicing Catholic you should be, or become, submissive to his judgement in such matters. Generally speaking, if he is sincere in seeking truth and is putting it into practice, you should be submissive to him in all things unless you're reasonably certain that he is not acting according to the will of God. A husband of faith would not ask you to do anything that was unjust or injurious to yourself or others.
        If you have the proper papers available the annulment process should be fairly simple if you are acting honestly in faith. The process itself however will normally take anywhere from two to six months. In the meantime you should be preparing yourself for a meaningful relationship with God through His Church that will bring you eternal peace. There is nothing in this life of meaningful value when you compare what this life affords to either eternal happiness in Heaven or to permanent suffering in Hell. Be sure you place your value systems in proper order always.
        Hopefully you are not presently participating in sexual relationships with your intended mate and are not living with him. You have stated that you had been married twice but did not mention the having of any children. If you have practiced any form of birth control you have been seriously offensive to God, for His first command to the human race was to "be fertile and multiply." If you have in the past practiced birth control, such sins must be confessed while coupled with the intention of never again practicing such evil.
        If you have further questions or concerns please let me know.

Sincerely in Christ,
fr. david

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